Tear Me Apart
by yourslasher
Summary: The complications of keeping your feelings towards someone... While Harry is getting married, Hermione muses her feelings for him. Will things go as planned or will it change course?


Tear Me Apart  
  
*Hermione*  
  
Like a knife through the flesh, the burning starts to swell and swell in my chest as I watch her walk that carpeted aisle towards him. She moves slowly, almost timidly, and it makes the hurting all the more painful for me.  
  
Why did I end up here?  
  
My eyes burn as you reach his side, clutching his arm tightly and possessively. I so wish that I was the one there, standing beside him, happy that in just a while, we'll be inseparable. That he'll be officially mine and I'll be officially his.  
  
But why am I sitting here, watching as my heart gradually tears apart?  
  
This seems so unfair. So much that I don't want to believe it. I close my eyes, wishing that when I open them, this whole fiasco would be gone. But I open them and find that the ceremony has begun, everyone is quiet and time is quickly slipping away from me.  
  
How I wish that time would stop right now. That this growing hole in my heart would mend in a snap and he'll be beside me, cheering me up just like before. But then, wishes are wishes.  
  
'Harry.'  
  
Everyone expected me to be with my red haired best friend, but we never hooked up. How could I when the one I love is so near. yet so far.  
  
Harry. Everyone expected him and Ginny to be together. I always said that yes, they're a good couple, but somewhere in the deepest crevices of my heart, I felt otherwise. I wanted Harry. I needed Harry. And why? Because I love him.  
  
But no one really took notice of that, and it hurts me terribly. Like they only see a shadow of myself.  
  
Every night I ask myself why. Why did I have to love someone like him? He's dense, not the hunkiest guy in town and he's not exactly a straight A student. Then I thought about other things. He was always there when I needed him. He was the only one who understood me when nobody else could. He could always make me smile, even for the stupidest reason. He makes it a point to spend some time with me even when he's hooked up with another girl. He could make butterflies appear in my insides and yet. it feels good.  
  
There's nothing more to ask for, really, except maybe for him to love me.  
  
So here I am, watching as the priest speaks, though not really hearing what he's saying. I can feel my reserve slipping away for every second that quickly passes me by.  
  
I don't understand. I really don't understand.  
  
-  
  
*Harry*  
  
Am I really doing this?  
  
It feels like everything passed by so fast. like a months scrunched up in a second. With a blink of an eye, I find myself before the priest, the whole Weasley clan, a few relatives and friends.  
  
What am I doing?  
  
Sure, I've been with Ginny for two years now. I can honestly say that those two years were sugar coated and all, but I can't help but feel this nagging feeling inside me saying that there's something wrong.  
  
Maybe I'm just nervous. I mean, I don't get married everyday, right?  
  
I don't understand! What is wrong with me? I proposed to Ginny, for Merlin's sake! Well. rather. somewhat. forced to propose. but that's not exactly the point here.  
  
Or is it?  
  
In addition, I love Ginny! I'd give up my life for her. I'll protect her until I die! Ever since I always treated her like my very own sister. She's very close to my heart.  
  
Right. I must be edgy today. It happens all the time! I just have to say the magic words and pop, we're married. Happily married. right?  
  
.I really want to look back, for some unknown reason.  
  
-  
  
*Hermione*  
  
".speak now or forever hold you peace."  
  
I can't do this. I want to. no! What was I thinking, wanting to break up the wedding! I'm not that evil! I mean. I. I love Harry. but.  
  
No! Hermione Granger, get a hold of your self! Who are you kidding? You can't do this! Your best friend and your close friend are getting married! You are the bride's maid! You can't possibly think of. But.  
  
No.  
  
-  
  
*Harry*  
  
Merlin! Can somebody just barge in here!  
  
.Did I just think that? No! I. I didn't! What is wrong with me! This is all so wrong!  
  
".take Virginia Weasley as your lawfully wedded wife?"  
  
-  
  
*Hermione*  
  
I wish you the best. I'm sure this is nothing. It'll fade away soon. well. maybe not so soon, but I'm sure this is nothing. I'm sure this is nothing, absolutely nothing.  
  
But. but I still wish you'd say no.  
  
-  
  
The whole church was silent. Too silent, in fact. Harry should've answered by now, but he's still looking straight through air. Ginny, wearing a confused and pleading face was looking up at Harry, her eyes threatening to overflow with tears. The priest and the others looked on with confusion except for a certain bride's maid, who looked like she'd been thinking for too long.  
  
Harry just stood there. He was wearing an unreadable face that just said indifferent. It was as if he wasn't even there. He turned to Ginny, then back to nowhere. Then to the utter surprise of everyone, he turned, facing everyone. Then his face fell on Hermione, who looked back, face smeared with tears.  
  
Then he found himself shedding a lone, heavy tear himself.  
  
"Mione."  
  
-=fin=- 


End file.
